Saturday, 8 December 2007

Angry, very very angry

I build myself back up to 5-10 once more and what happens - my luck happens that is what. Ended up losing a $1600 pot with 777 on a K97 two heart flop where all the money went in to a guy holding K7 who hit runner runner hearts to screw me.

I am so angry with this as I only have one buy in of profit to play and open two tables - I win the hand and I'm away and sailing but no, now I have to drop back down and build up again. I just need the first big hand to go my way and not have this rubbish happen. I am not waiting to build up lots more at lower stakes as that is not how I operate, I take shots and rebuild through profits a higher stakes. It is really upsetting - I want to play 5-10, I should be playing 5-10 but I am being strict and now it is back to the waiting game.

Damn, damn, damn

Steve


I have carried on since this first post as I had $320 left on the table and I decided I may as well either succeed or lose it all and to be honest my luck has not improved - KK vs AA with a K on flop - would have stacked him for 1k but only had $250 at the time. Great hand, bad timing. Then I get all in for a 1k pot against a flush draw which obviously hits - so back to $200 and now I've had a set of T's vs 3's so would have stacked the guy again but because I was short only won $200. Had my hands held up I think I'd be about 3k up on this table rather than $600 down.

This sucks

Steve

Friday, 7 December 2007

Reflections on the first month as a pro

This post is going to be looking over how my first month of full time play has gone. Lessons which I've learnt, mistakes I've made and how it all differs from my expectations.

First and most important thing to acknowledge is that I'm unlikely to struggle to make a comfortable living playing poker as my only source of income. Regular readers will know that I have suffered some massive swings and some poor discipline during this time. However despite this I am still making a decent amount and have been able to build up after bad swings by dropping stakes and forcing better discipline upon myself.

I think this is a very important realisation for me. It hasn't by any means gone how I'd hoped and I've had to play lower than I would wish to but it's abundantly clear that I am (financially) at least a successful player.

What I have also realised is that my expectations and aspirations are extremely high and I demand a lot from myself. It is not going to be enough for me to make a comfortable living - I want a lot more and will not be happy unless I am making somewhere around $4k a week on average. This is more than attainable and is ultimately the minimum level which I wish to aim for when I return full time to 5-10nl.

What I have found a major problem is the lack of routine. This has surprised me with how difficult it is to impose when I have virtually no requirements upon my time or energies other than to focus on my game. I had assumed that I would fall into a routine of going to bed around 4am, rising by 1pm and then playing poker from around 10.30pm - 3.30am. This ain't happened, not even slightly.

I have taken to staying up all night on occasion, finding it difficult to bother going to bed - what this has resulted in is an ever varying schedule where I don't give myself the time during daylight hours to do other things. When I get up at 4pm Nat is home within an hour or so and my opportunity to do anything productive for myself disappears as I spend the evening with her and then when she goes to bed I play poker. It also means that I don't excercise as I'm lazy and need to do it when I'm in by myself during the afternoon.

I have found that when I keep to a more sensible routine I am happier, more productive and because of this I become more motivated with my game. My goal for the next month is to get into a proper routine which will involve getting up at a reasonable hour and not staying up through the night for no apparant reason other than because I can.

I have such a fantastic opportunity to be this relaxed, cheerful, carefree person with very few things to worry about and I've not been. I put this down to my lack of routine leaving me tired, my body confused and then I compound it by doing stupid things at poker. I need to refocus on why I am doing this for my job. I'm not going to say that it's not about the money because it so blatently is (at least in part). The money is a necessary and nice byproduct of doing something which I love, this will happen anyway so what I need to concentrate on is living my life to the full, making the effort with things and generally enjoying my time.

I didn't anticipate this being a problem, I don't struggle with boredom, I am happy with my own company for long periods but it has become one because ultimately I'm lazy. Because there is little which I have to do - I do nothing and that is not healthy or enjoyable. I've snapped out of my bad mood and lethargy now and I am going to make this work in a way I enjoy and am happy with. Step 1 in this is going to be imposing that routine on myself and the sooner I successfully do that the sooner everything else will fall into place.

It's not an easy life and I can see why people struggle with it, this way of being would not suit the majority of people I know. For me it is all about willpower and belief at the table coupled with discipline away from it. I manage ok with the first of these and have been woefully inadequate at the second - that must and will change over the next few weeks.

I'll keep you all updated on how it goes

Steve

Thursday, 6 December 2007

An Interesting Hand

I've won about $800 back today and played fairly well in a shortish session. One intriguing hand came up where I would strongly question my opponent's play. I'll talk through it and you'll see what I mean.

I'm on the button and all players involved have a full stack ($400). Player A raises to $16 and B then reraises to $44, me to act and I have KK - pretty good but the number of times that reraise means AA on this level is ridiculously high so dropping the hand is a genuine option. I decided to flat call the raise. Two reasons I decided to do this, first is that it means I can get away from any flop with an A or a big reraise from the initial raiser. The other is that my call is extremely scary (or should be to the other 2 players) and will hopefully curb the preflop action allowing me to make my decisions based upon the flop.

Player A completes and the flop comes 778. This is an excellent flop for me as I am only likely to be behind to AA and it also enables QQ,JJ to pay me off handsomely if they decide that they may be good. Action is checked to me which is great news as barring a 7 I now am certain I am ahead in the hand. I bet a 2/3 pot $84 and player A calls and B folds.As I was more worried about player B this is superb for me. Turn comes with a 9 and after it is checked to me any bet I make commits me and I opted for the overbet push which probably look weaker than a lesser bet - however either way I am comitting myself to the pot so the best course of action is the one which brings my opponent in most often and I think the overbet lets my opponent decide that I am blufign often enough to make it possible. River came a 2 and my opponent showed the JJ as an $830 pot was pushed my way.

Here is my problem with my opponent's play - my flat call pre-flop and my opponents reraise should be sending massive warning signs to a hand like JJ. OK he has an overpair to the board BUT there is big action and not only is he facing an $84 bet on the flop but also the original reraiser is still going to be acting after him - to me this is a really easy fold with virtually no exceptions. However a call is okish if you play a really quite loose game.

On the turn he would be much better off pushing as it at least gives me the option of folding (I wouldn't have) however when he faces a bet larger than pot size and assuming he's paying attention he must be aware that the chances are that I have AA,KK,QQ and he has 6 outs, or in other words it's not worth it.

However he calls and I imagine he is already saying the words I know you have AK in a bout of foolish misplaced optimism. It is amazing how often people put you on AK to justify calling, the number of times you see this typed into chat is quite extraordinary.

I love players who not only can't get away from their big hands but especially those who call off all their chips rather than betting them strongly and giving me a decision to make.

Steve

Tuesday, 4 December 2007

Back we go

Another less than stunning day at 5-10 where nothing much which was good happened so I'm dropping back for a bit until I've built up enough to have another shot, hopefully won't take more than a day or so as I'm eager to get it going back at the stakes I belong at.

This may happen a few times as I'm going to be strict with my requirements for playing 5-10 and as I keep a short bankroll I could be up and down a ew times over the next week or two. Hopefully I move back up, get something going and build a larger roll to play with but I'm not going to push my luck as that is what destroyed my roll at omaha in the first place. I'd rather be slightly bored by the stakes than stressed because I can't afford to lose!

Steve

Return to 5-10

And it hasn't gone as well as I'd have hoped. Played well and was quite happy with my play in general but it felt like i just didn't get the run of the cards. I played so few large pots - biggest was only about $600 and I was sucked out on in that. Whenever I had something I got no action and basically bled chips for 1500 hands. Still I only lost a buy-in so it could have been a lot worse and at least I felt immediately comfortable and happy with the tables I was playing.

I'm still finding it difficult to impose any sort of routine on my days and fall so easily into bad habits with my sleep patterns. Yesterday I got up at midday stayed up till 7.30am and have risen at about 4pm today - so I have managed to miss all the daylight hours! Now it's not like I need to keep to any routine but I do feel that I should be getting up by 2pm at the latest really. Still I had good reason for staying up last night - NFL followed by Super Mario Galaxy for a couple of hours, truly a fine evening (setting aside poker results)

Steve

Sunday, 2 December 2007

I just shouldn't play 2-4nl

I may have mentioned once or twice how much better I've been doing in 3-6nl with most of my wins coming from these tables on the rare occasions they get going on party. This could not be more true than this evening. I haven't been in the mood for much play so have played a few short sessions across either 1 or 2 tables of 3-6nl and completely ignored the lower game.

It's gone quite well - I'm now up to $2k up for the evening and have won a fair few sizeable pots with some nice play of high cards and sets. I just won an $1100 pot with KK as the flop came AK7. I had been reraised pre-flop and flat called. The guy played it like he was stringing me along for my whole stack and I was absolutely certain he had AK or AA. Usually when I get this feeling I am proved right as I have a knack for feeling out the monster hands. Imagine my surprise as he check raised me the min on the flop and then bet and called on the turn as he flipped...AT. Honestly shocked, I'd not raised preflop for about an hour and had folded virtually every hand.

I'm very grateful to the lad but what exactly was he thinking of - I called two reraises ad then raise him all in. What can I have that AT is beating????????mJust goes to show that even at higher stakes some people just do not notice what is blindingly obvious and lose their stacks because of it.

If I had the AT out of position on the largest rock at the table I would have folded pre-flop and not gone any further - the re-raise is as horrible as my flat call is beautiful. I never quite understand what people read into my table image. When I get aggressive people keep on folding, when I play like a rock people donate their entire stack when I clearly have it - these are not the regular players I'm talking about (they know better and watch) but some of the one offs are just awful and are the reason why poker is a very crushable game in the long term.

Steve

Very little if anything about poker - I recommend avoiding reading

I'm finding it quite hard to play at the moment, my brain is just not in gear and my concentration span is pitiful at best. It's not really poker related as things have been going well, I've played a bit today and am $1k up but I almost don't care. I am struggling to motivate myself at all and it's an effort to be smiley and happy, or or those who know me, to be my version of this state of being (cynical and grumpy).

I'm not particularly happy at the moment and I am struggling to put my finger on why. There have been a number of things going on over the last few months and I think I've just let things get on top of me a bit. Rather than enjoying life and taking the rough with the smooth I seem to be brooding on things and failing to allow any joy to penetrate my soul.

Luckily I am pretty sure that it is not my career choice or the life I lead alongside this as I actually rather like not having a job and having time to myself - sure I could spend it a lot more productively than I do and probably should BUT I rather like my lifestyle. I think I just need to make more effort with things in general to snap myself out of this as I genuinely like being active and doing lots of stuff but i do have a bad tendancy to get myself into long ruts where I fail to make the effort. This comes in a variety of forms from keeping in touch with friends or excercise right down to making the small efforts with Nat.

I've had my brother over for the weekend and it's quite sad but playing pro-ev actually gave me some spark as we get fairly competitive and unneccessarily OTT celebrations are the norm in the event of crucial last minute goals. There are few games where I see people go from smug elation to angry and miserable within a few minutes and it is entertaining. Also saw one of my close friends who I've not seen for a while and she is currently extremely happy which is great to see.

Sadly once they'd gone I no longer have to make any effort and at the moment that seems to be hugely negative for me as I drop in to a somewhat less than cheery individual.

It worries me when I feel sad as it's really not my normal state. I'm usually very content and cheerful inside (grumpy/cynical/sarcastic) is what everyone else will see! and I'm not used to prolonged periods of feeling down. I find it very difficult to snap myself out of it and I'm awful at letting people help and they tend to get their heads bitten off for having the temerity to be nice (sorry Nat).

I'm back to a stage where I am ready to move back into the 5-10 game and this should be exciting and a good thing for me but I really have very little passion at the moment so shall refrain from doing so until my mental state is somewhat improved.

Who knows I may wake up tomorrow and feel much better, it will go away as quick as that it's just a matter of when really. Who knows mayybe the prospect of playing Mario Galaxy on the Wii will help!!!

Steve