Not whinging now!!

Right I have definitely been runnign bad in the big pots recently however that has just changed somewhat with one absolute monster on 3-6nl. I'd already got up to $1500 through a nicely played full house on the flop when the below hand came up

http://www.pokerhand.org/?1735766

I have been playing short handed a bit recently and quite enjoying it as it is more aggressive and some people really overplay their holdings. I have a more conservative style with well timed river bluffs and playing my big hands hard. Anyway I had AA pre flop with $1500 in front of me, the guy to my left raised but he also had $1500 so I didn't fancy reraising out of position and revealing some strength and setting myself up to be bluffed later in the hand.

Flop came AT6 with 2 clubs, obviously this is magnificent for me but I want to extract value. I check raised and then very unexpectedly got reraised to $300. Now this is a very interesting situation because of the stack sizes. I KNOW I am very unlikely to get away from this hand if a scare card comes. I also know that most likely he has either a straight flush draw, 2 pair or a set. To be honest I expected the set. Generally he would be unlikly to re-re-raise me in this situation without a BIG hand mainly due to stack sizes.

Anyway having realised this I also thought that IF he had the set he would most likely call any bet as AA was unlikely due to my pre-flop flat call. SO I decided that it was a good situation for me to shove - takes the decision out of it and if he wants to make a bad call with a draw then so be it. Anyway he thought for a LONG time before calling with TT for mid-set. the river brough a 7 which scared me a little as the 89clubs was a possible holding but the $3k pot came to me and turned a bad day into a very very good one.

I have been running bad but this hand makes up for a lot, an awful lot. I am now $5100 up since returning to hold'em and life just feels a touch sweeter right now.

Sadly as I've been playing 2-4 only $1k of this is from 2-4, the other $4k is from 3-6 and a short session of $5-10. I just do better at higher stakes, my game fits them better which is as it should be because that is where I played since April and have logged many hours at 5-10.

In fairness I feel really sorry for my opponent here, I would have thought about dropping the TT but I doubt I could have, it's just too strong in that situation so it was a real cooler for him. Shame!

All my friends and Nat have been telling me it'd turn around and I have been playing with a really positive attitude (and whinging away from the tables) and it's just so nice to have a really good day and win a monster pot.

WOOOOO HOOOOOOOO

Run well when it really matters - that is the key

Steve

Another Day Another Dollar - This is almost my current win rate

I'm not sure how much better I can play. Have been involved in 2 pots which were all in affairs, one the guy was drawing dead and the other I was a 4-1 favourite for a $1000 pot, guess what I lost it. So instead of being $1200 up I am about $200 up. It is so disappointing to play so well, be so keyed up and then continue with the run of my big hands losing more than they mathamatically should.

I'm quitting whinging now, I'm playing fantastically well and deserve a lot more success at 2-4nl than I am currently getting. However despite the fact I swear I have run horrifically this week I am still $2k up - I can live with that, it pays the bills and the rest but it just feels like a massive disappointment because I feel it should be double if not treble that figure for the number of hands I've played. My win rate currently sucks and I am due a big BIG day where my hands all hold and I get dealt into a number of coolers where I am on the right side of it!

Overall I am feeling a lot more positive although my luck is not there I am still winning, I am still avoiding tilt and I am building my bankroll up (albeit less quickly than I would like). I have set targets and when I achieve them I move back to where I belong - 5-10nl. The only reason I'm not playing there is that I couldn't handle losing at those stakes right now so I shall win some more and then move back up. Once that happens we may start to see some proper wins and some good weeks/months. I expect to be able to make $15K plus a month and that has been done by me before so my genuine realistic wish is to have a $50k month at some point by early next year. This will happen as I'm bound to run well at some point and when it happens if my game is as solid as it is right now the big wins will follow.

Anyway enough talk of big cash, I'm playing much lower right now without massive success so keeping my head straight and ignoring the higher games etc is essential to my continued rebuilding programme.

Steve

Hold'em day 2

Second full day of holdem and it has not gone as well as the first. I feel that I've played reasonably well with one obvious exception where I over committed to a flush draw and blew $300. The cards were not with me during today and I was down for virtually the whole day eventually ending up by about $60.

So in money terms it was a poor day but because I managed to retain composure and not panic when I was a couple of buy-ins down it feels reasonably good. Obviously I don't normally worry about the win/loss too much but at the moment I am very results oriented and just need to continue winning so I can completely forget the past few weeks.

http://www.pokerhand.org/?1694024

This is the hand which caused my moment of tilt and I think it is fairly understandable as this is as brutal a hand as you can get in holdem. I would absolutely never ever drop this even if I had a huge stack and faced multiway action from other huge stacks. I don't think it is possible to lay this down and I genuinely never even considered it. I assumed he had a full house below mine. Still if I accept that I cannot get away from this it's not such a bad day overall.

I played a lot, over 2000 hands and my winrate overall has understandably suffered due to my lack of progress. Probably a more accurate winrate now and I'd be quite satisfied to maintain it around this level.

Hands - 3923
Profit - $1498.75
PTBB/100 - 4.78

Steve

Return to Hold'em

And would you look at that, a successful day, a very successful day. There has been a multitude of fist pumping and general expressions of excitement, enthusiasm and less of the ennui which I have at times associated with this fine game.

I haven't played hold'em for about a month and you know what, it's good to be back. The break seems to have refreshed my attitude towards the game and my omaha experiences have probably made me a stronger player. I am very smartly playing below my usual level and am at the 2-4nl game which means a $400 buy in. This has a number of advantages, the main one being that I am not at all scared to lose and am willing to back myself stronger than when playing higher stakes. I make a decision and I live or die by it at these stakes so I am probably a more dangerous player for others to come up against.

Anyway I've won 3.5 buy ins today or $1400ish which feels gooooooooooooooooood. I am not a hugely swingy player at holdem, never have been, never will be. 3-4 buyins is an excellent day and I tend to slowly build with my tight aggressive style. This somewhat less stressful form of poker is very useful for me given recent history in omaha and I have maintained my patience and good humour throughout the three sessions I have played today.

Patience is always key to my success as I win a low percentage of pots but tend to make them count for a lot so if I allow frustration to sink in my gameplan suffers accordingly. I've enjoyed my play today, made a few well calculated bluffs along with some less well calculated ones. Have managed to extract huge value from my big hands and the worst hand in terms of profitability today has been AA where I've lost $250. Usually AA is my biggest winner, in fact long term it is by a massive amount and I play it well. Sadly I've been a bit unlucky with it today whereas QQ has been marvellous. Thank you ladies!

I needed today. I really really did, although I know that I now have to continue where I have left off it feels good to have not only played well but been rewarded for it too. I'm gonna post two hands from today (ones where I win) and discuss to some degree.

http://www.pokerhand.org/?1688770

This first one is hugely, hugely significant as for the first time in a long time I flopped top set and it won.Let me repeat that IT WON. It was not the nuts when I bet or went all in as he could have had a straight however there is zero chance I am putting that hand down on the scant possibility of 9T being my opponent's holding. I always feel that aggressive play rewards itself when done in a controlled fashion and this hand my aim was to calculate bet size to ensure my opponent committed his whole stack should he have a big hand. He did andsadly for him I had a higher set. This is a really tough beat in hold'em and I would probably have gone down in similar fashion with his hand. BUT I won with top set lalalallalalalala, can you tell that this is a significant weight off my previously overburdened shoulders.

http://www.pokerhand.org/?1688734

I reraised a fair amount preflop today with AK and many others but decided to play it slower in this one and the AK7 flop seemed to be a bit of a gift. I checked to the preflop raiser adn was quite sad that nobody else called to juice the pot a bit. Anyway as I was out of position I raised to $100 (had I been behind him in the play I would have flat called most times) and for some reason which I truly can't explain he pushed all in for $300 with AQ. Idiot! What can I have which I check raise with which he is beating. So unlikely that he isn't drawing very very light and a call or fold were the only real options in my opinion. Multiway pot where I check raise when I must suspect he has an A should send warning signals but apparantly and luckily not.

The only other hand I'd like to mention is one where I faced an overbet flop from the raiser with A87 showing and two clubs. I like the overbet as a sign of weakness where you really have a monster and fell hook, line and sinker for it on this occasion as I didn't think my opponent was that smart. I pushed all in over the top with my AQ only to be quickly called (never good) by his AK. I spiked a Q on the turn to take down a $500 pot and boy did a suckout feel good. This sort of thing just hasn't happened for me over the past 2 weeks, in fact it has happened always against me on every occasion so this turn of fortune managed to give me some spark back and I would say that today I have actually run well and a bit above expectation. Maybe I'm due eh!

Anyway I'm going to sign off by giving my stats for the day, and I may be doing this a bit more regularly

Hands - 1786
Profit - $1424.72
PTBB (per 100) 9.97

Good win rate, great win rate in fact. For those of you who do not understand the PTBB it stands for Poker Tracker Big Blinds per 100 hands. Poker tracker big blinds are for some reason calculated differently to what makes sense to me but if you double it then you have the real rate. So I've won nearly 20 BB per 100 hands today or $80 per 100 hands. I'll take it, considering I can get in around 300 hands an hour that is a useful rate and one which I would like to see continued.

It's not a loss, get in, get in, get in, maybe I can play after all

Steve

Return to the tables

and nothing has changed... before I was consistently getting my money in good 65% favourite + and losing. Sadly that has continued and my fragile confidence has been shattered into a million tiny pieces leaving me doubting whether I can actually do this successfully as a full time career. I know that in terms of expectation I am now running around $20k below expectation on these hands.

I know what some of you may be thinking - I am doing the classic poker player thing of remembering only the bad beats and forgetting all the times where they held up. Sadly I am a realist and am very aware of exactly what is going on and I have plain and simple been a victim of extremely awful luck.

To be honest I have dealt with this appallingly badly in its latter stages as my whole demeanour has been affected, I am moody, stressed, snappy and generally a pain in the arse to be around. I don't want to see or speak to anybody as to be entirely frank I am embarrassed by this current run.

That may seem like a stupid or immature reaction but it sums up how I feel at the moment. I have played nearly 3000 hands since my return and have lost $1500, this in itself is not a huge amount but durin that time on 5 occasions all the money has gone in on the flop or turn where I hold top set and am a minimum of a 60% favourite, I've won 1 of these. ONE, and that is me running extremely well on recent form. On the rare occasions I have got in behind I have failed on every occasion to hit as well.

I know omaha is a swingy game, I'm not stupid or unrealistic BUT I have expectations of at least achieving 50% of my expectation over long periods of running bad but I'm getting nearer 5% on all the big hands. It has been hard to cope with, although I think I've dropped around $12-14k during this period it is NOT to do with the money. In many ways the money is unimportant, I'm up over the last month despite this, I'm secure in how I play and KNOW it is a winning style over the long run. However every bit of joy has been sapped from my being and I am genuinely quite miserable at the moment.

I'm not someone who gets too badly affected by poker usually, I accept bad runs with good humour, I understand that I can't always win and I tend not to tilt too much. I've managed the last one of these well despite the run I;ve had. The others sadly have got to me to such an extent that I feel close to tears after yet another bad beat, I feel physically sick, I have lost interest in many of the more important things in my life and am generally feeling about as low as I ever have in my life.

It is hard to take a week off come back and have it continue. It is difficult to continuously lose where you should lose and also lose where you should win. I've started to wonder if I have been cursed or done something to offend a supreme being who I don't even believe in. The hardest thing is to gain no reward for solid disciplined play and in fact be punished financially for it.

I did something I very very rarely do and told someone at my table to f**k off yesterday. This was after the all too familiar top set by me was cracked by another donkey call. T75 rainbow flop and I got called after my all in pot raise by a hand which consisted of 46XX with a backdoor flush out and I proceeded to get heartily f**ked.

Not only was this a godawful call, seriously awful in every way as he was obviously behind literally every possible hand I could have but he proceeded to inform me that he was 38% for the hand and had odds to call. I would have gladly punched him in his stupid ignorant face. He had 8 definite outs and even if he hit I could redraw to my full house. I was comfortably over a 70% favourite in this hand. I usually take this stuff in my stride and ignore it but it's just unbelievable. People are so stupid at times and seemingly stupidity is the key to beating me. Just wait until I look like I must have a big hand and stick all your money in. I guarantee that you will beat me!

I'm not trying to say that I am a flawless player, I'm not saying that I have a right to win above anyone else. I play poker largely by mathematics and I am currently on a statistically unlikely run of bad fortune. Sadly I do not have the heart to ride this out as it must surely end at some point. I am not willing to finance my play at the stakes I wish to play at to an extent where I may start losing overall. And most importantly I'm not prepared to be the person I have been for the last two weeks, I'm meant to be relaxed, happy and gradually winning enough to live very comfortably on... and I'm not right now, far from it.

SOOOOO what am I going to do you may ask. Good question and sadly one which keeps flitting through my brain and is failing to be answered to a satisfactory level. Well here is what I have come up with as a plan. God knows whether I will stick to it but I believe I will.

I'm quitting omaha for the time being as it is making me miserable. I don't really want to do this as I think my long term win rate is far better in this than it is in holdem but just for now I cannot handle the game. Therefore I will be returning to the game I have consistently beaten for the last 3 years although playing 2-4 rather than 5-10 for the moment as I just couldn't cope with losing 3-4 buy ins at 5-10.

I currently have $3k in my poker account and will play 2-4 until I build up to $5k then I may allow myself to play some 5-10 but we shall see. Don't know how this will go, also don't know what the hell I'm going to do if I start this by going on a losing streak (god I hope not) however that has to be the plan for the time being.

I can only apologise for not posting much recently, I do tend to do this, last time I went on a bad run my posting became less frequent as I go into my shell a bit and am less willing to share my mental state with people. I hope I've managed to give a very honest account of how I've been feeling and show that although life as a poker pro may be a fun and exciting career when it is going well it can be soul destroying if it goes really badly.

I shall try to get back to posting more regularly and may put in a progress counter to show how well or badly it is really going. Stupid thing is that I am actually relatively satisfied with where I am financially through the last 6 weeks - it's not brilliant earnings but it pays the bills. It's just how it has occurred and the heart wrenching downturn I have had.

Ah well, start over and refocus back on holdem

Steve