Reflections on the first month as a pro

This post is going to be looking over how my first month of full time play has gone. Lessons which I've learnt, mistakes I've made and how it all differs from my expectations.

First and most important thing to acknowledge is that I'm unlikely to struggle to make a comfortable living playing poker as my only source of income. Regular readers will know that I have suffered some massive swings and some poor discipline during this time. However despite this I am still making a decent amount and have been able to build up after bad swings by dropping stakes and forcing better discipline upon myself.

I think this is a very important realisation for me. It hasn't by any means gone how I'd hoped and I've had to play lower than I would wish to but it's abundantly clear that I am (financially) at least a successful player.

What I have also realised is that my expectations and aspirations are extremely high and I demand a lot from myself. It is not going to be enough for me to make a comfortable living - I want a lot more and will not be happy unless I am making somewhere around $4k a week on average. This is more than attainable and is ultimately the minimum level which I wish to aim for when I return full time to 5-10nl.

What I have found a major problem is the lack of routine. This has surprised me with how difficult it is to impose when I have virtually no requirements upon my time or energies other than to focus on my game. I had assumed that I would fall into a routine of going to bed around 4am, rising by 1pm and then playing poker from around 10.30pm - 3.30am. This ain't happened, not even slightly.

I have taken to staying up all night on occasion, finding it difficult to bother going to bed - what this has resulted in is an ever varying schedule where I don't give myself the time during daylight hours to do other things. When I get up at 4pm Nat is home within an hour or so and my opportunity to do anything productive for myself disappears as I spend the evening with her and then when she goes to bed I play poker. It also means that I don't excercise as I'm lazy and need to do it when I'm in by myself during the afternoon.

I have found that when I keep to a more sensible routine I am happier, more productive and because of this I become more motivated with my game. My goal for the next month is to get into a proper routine which will involve getting up at a reasonable hour and not staying up through the night for no apparant reason other than because I can.

I have such a fantastic opportunity to be this relaxed, cheerful, carefree person with very few things to worry about and I've not been. I put this down to my lack of routine leaving me tired, my body confused and then I compound it by doing stupid things at poker. I need to refocus on why I am doing this for my job. I'm not going to say that it's not about the money because it so blatently is (at least in part). The money is a necessary and nice byproduct of doing something which I love, this will happen anyway so what I need to concentrate on is living my life to the full, making the effort with things and generally enjoying my time.

I didn't anticipate this being a problem, I don't struggle with boredom, I am happy with my own company for long periods but it has become one because ultimately I'm lazy. Because there is little which I have to do - I do nothing and that is not healthy or enjoyable. I've snapped out of my bad mood and lethargy now and I am going to make this work in a way I enjoy and am happy with. Step 1 in this is going to be imposing that routine on myself and the sooner I successfully do that the sooner everything else will fall into place.

It's not an easy life and I can see why people struggle with it, this way of being would not suit the majority of people I know. For me it is all about willpower and belief at the table coupled with discipline away from it. I manage ok with the first of these and have been woefully inadequate at the second - that must and will change over the next few weeks.

I'll keep you all updated on how it goes

Steve