Returning to the lifestyle theme

One of my recent posts seems to have hit a chord with a few people who live a similar lifestyle and the point that I made was that the time you have on your hands is not necessarily a great blessing.

When I worked full time for a living it was always a huge hassle to find the time to go to the shops, get my car fixed, read a book and a whole multitude of other things as well. I assumed quite naturally that when I turned pro this would cease to be an issue and I would spend my days indulging in excercise, sports, reading, watching films and spending whole days blissfully wandering around town browsing and buying stuff in shops.

Ah what a fool I was, nothing like this has happened, instead I have no routine to speak of and seem to exist in no particular timezone. My car was recently vandalised by some delightful children who bent my rear windscreen wiper into something resembling a modern artwork - lovely as it looks it is now somewhat less good at it's one and only purpose on my car in that it cannot clear the windscreen. This happened nearly a month ago now - have I fixed it, a job that would take a phone call and maybe a short drive? No, course I haven't as I don't have the time.

But surely with christmas coming I've been able to buy presents well in advance and really make the effort for people! Again no, in fact I've probably done less than I had this time last year (however whatever I do will be an improvement as I left all the presents in my house when I went home for christmas last year - oops)

I've become less active at browsing the internet as well which is truly weird as I am at my computer for many hours every day. I used to look at pocketfives.com every day, I used to use facebook more. However I didn't do these things at home, no, I did them at work and I think that holds something of a key in all this. When you are at work browsing the internet is a fantastic alternative to productivity and a miriad of sites are necessary additions to your day to while away the boredom.

Conversely when you set your own hours and decide exactly when you shall bother to do your work and there is no limit to the holiday you can give yourself, no deadlines etc there is also nothing to escape from so in this way you waste less time browsing the selfsame sites which gave some structure to your day.

I guess the biggest culture shock really is the lack of structure, no reason to go to bed, no reason to get up and you rely entirely on your own motivation (or lack of it) to get you through.

I've been thinking about this and although I am now 26 my life has never before been without some kind of structure. You go through school, university and jobs and throughout that time, however lazy you may be there is still a structure to your day - up at a certain time for school and work, socialising late evening at uni (getting up not so much of an issue there). So it is quite difficult to acclimatise to a life devoid of this.

The last few days I have risen around 4pm and gone to bed at about 8am - I'm enjoying myself and being productive but it's not ideal. Sadly I don't yet know what ideal is yet, not for me anyway. I want to play late at night/early morning, I want to be able to watch late night sports but I also want to see some daylight occasionally!

Thing is I try to go to bed at a smart time, 4-5am and my mind whirs away because I know I don't have to sleep, I could get up and do something. This leads to a small amount of burnout as my body struggles to cope with my inability to set a routine. Heck I don't even really want a routine, I don't want to set an alarm, I don't want to feel I should be doing things at certain times. However another part of me craves this exact thing.

I hated getting up in the mornings for work as I never could go to bed before 1am or so, thus I was always tired. However it gave me structure, it gave me a sleep pattern of sorts and I think that is important to my well being and motivation.

I enjoy what I do, I'm back to being relaxed and happy, but I still should be making more of it. My excercise regime has fallen flat at the moment, I don't go out and do stuff and I still have no routine, not even close to one.

Anyone who ever considers doing this for a living needs to be extremely strongwilled above all else. Possibly even above talent. If you don't have the determination and ability to make it work for you then you will crash and burn as the lifestyle could potentially make you miserable.

If you need people around you, again it is not going to be ideal as poker is essentially a solo pursuit. I'd love to have someone in the Birmingham area who I knew and liked who had a similar lifestyle as nobody outside the game really has a clue what you are talking about when you discuss bad runs, cracked draws, pot odds etc. But I do not have this, I knew that was the case and I'm perfectly happy with the situation, however in an ideal world someone who can empathise would be a useful addition to most full time players I would imagine.

I think most people when turning pro consider money and isolation as the two major issues which they will have to deal with during that time. However it is not the biggest hurdle - if you know you can cut it before going pro (and why are you trying if you do not know this) then the play itself shouldn't be an issue as you improve and adapt with the game and situations. The main obstacle to full time success has to be getting a routine which works for you - if you can't manage this then the poker lifestyle is not going to work out.

I still have many things to work on in this regard but I am extremely confident that I can and will make this work for me long term. The only other alternative is returning to work and that's just not gonna happen.

A bit rambly I know and I apologise for any repetition from previous posts but as I'm sure you can all tell I just write when I feel like it and then publish, there's no editorial process at work here - hence why emotions sometimes come across, especially when I'm losing!

Steve