Hard work

It's hard work playing poker for a living when you start losing. Whatever period it lasts for I find that my confidence dips and I start questionning my game. I find that I start attaching ridiculous amounts of importance on each session and each table. Winning becomes far more vital and losing a buy in or two starts to feel devastating.

I've begun playing 2-4 and 3-6 and it hasn't started well, I'm a buy in down which in the grand scheme of things is totally meaningless BUT it doesn't feel like that it weighs me down like a millstone around my neck.

I've been through downswings on countless occasions and all for a variety of reasons - shhocking misfortune in big pots, tired play from me and out and out tilt.

I've found that the worst feelings always come when I myself am responsible for the situation, if it's misfortune I can handle that - unless I compound it by breaking my bankroll requirements and playing games which I shouldn't be.

I have big goals from poker and since turning pro I seem to continuously shoot myself in the foot and haven't had any period where I can make assumptions of my profitability from the game. I need to build a roll and stay at 5-10nl and be able to ride these bumps, sadly I keep screwing up, sure I make a decent living but I seem to be intent on making it as difficult as I can and introducing the largest possible amount of stress and irritation into my life.

I need to remember why I play, what my goals are and then just not make stupid mistakes. I have never pretended to be an exceptional player - I'm not, however I am very good at making the right decision in each situation. I play a very tight game where I throw some bluffs in at opportune moments. I don't get stacked often as I'm very adept at getting off hands and not putting myself in danger. Therefore when I do start to make errors it really impacts my bottom line and it bothers me that I still do this.

I doubt I will ever stop tilting entirely or doing stupid things from time to time, the goal is to maximise the time between them so it isn't an issue very often and then nipping it in the bud early when things do go wrong.

Steve