So I am fed up and I decide to play some 5-10nl, not necessarily the best thing to do but then I am a successful player at those stakes. Anyway I have JJ and flop is JT2 two diamonds. I raise the cont bet from player A and he goes all in vreating a $2k pot. He has AA and rivers a fucking A, this is such a massive setback. I know I shouldn't have been playing there but this is just typical of my recent fortune - 8% chance screws me out of $2k it feels wonderful, he didn't even have a diamond which makes it so much worse.
I'm fed up of January, this has been a shit month and I've had enough, this is making me miserable and grumpy and it's just ridiculous, why do bad things happen all the time to me. Oh yeah this was the start of another day - shock horror massive suckout. I honestly wonder whether I'm jinxed at times I just seem to have appalling luck. I am sure it all levels out overall but in the big pots (the ones which actually matter) I seem to run absolutely awfully, I haven;t got all in in that good a position and won often enough for a $2k pot for that loss to be justifiable.
I have been killing myself over the past few days playing for 8+hours and really working hard and it's all been for bugger all as usual. I haven't had a single quality day for over 2 months at poker. Anything over 2.5 buyins at 5-10 I would regard as good and I don't believe I've had one. I know how good I get my money in and this run I've been on just defies belief. I'm so so miserable right now, I want to cry from frustration but can't. I want to not play poker but I can't really do that. I especially want to reload and have a decent amount in my poker account but if I do this it could be a terrible downward spiral if I keep losing like this and I couldn't handle that.
I have a massive urge to reload, it is almost too much to not do but I have promised myself I won't put myself through anything like that again, not after the debacle at omaha which resulted from the single worst run of fortune I'm ever likely to encounter.
Looking at the whole thing from a more coherent and calm perspective it doesn't really matter - I take a day off start over and grind my way back playing 2-4 and 3-6, I have plenty of finance to see me through but it's just not the point really. I am letting myself get stressed, I started this bad run for myself but now it seems that I just keep getting dealt into hands where I have to go bust assuming my opponent play like idiots which it seems they all do.
I hate whinging about my fortune but I really have nothing else to do at the moment, this is eating me up inside and I think I'm going to record my first losing month for over two years which I am not overly impressed by. I think I'm about $6k down for the month so far and unless my fortune turns around it is unlikely to be undone. I'm 6 buy ins at 2-4 from playing some 5-10 and then I need to win over 3 buyins there to get back to where I was when I came home in such a positive and happy place after new year.
I'm fantastic at ruining my day to day existence, it's like a specialty. I don't deserve this and it would be nice to experience a positive run again.
Anyway after a day off I shall have to resume and restrict myself with a bit more stringency to 2-4nl and 3-6nl.
Hope you all have a good day and even if it sucks, trust me I'm feeling worse
Steve
2 comments:
Just a word of encouragement.
THIS IS WHAT YOU WANT TO DO FOR A LIVING!!!!!
I am in the same boat as you (only at a lower stake). Concentrate on a winning session..not the AMOUNT you win. You are a winning player overall. Stay focused.
From an objective point of view, you should stay at 2/4 or 3/6 for a certain length of time ( say 2-3 weeks) before you try to move back up. Get in a rhythm of winning...first.
Cheers, I know this it's just really frustrating at the moment and sadly I'm letting it get to me. I've rebuilt enough times before to know that it can take a while I just need to concentrate on the good things in my life and let the poker take care of itself through playing at sensible stakes and at times where I am not getting emotionally involved about it.
Steve
Post a Comment